Genre: none. i mean, slice of life, again.
Warnings: don't get drunk people, it's bad for your grey matter.
Summary: Pointless fic in which Kibum is drunk.
A/N: lol. this fic is so pointless that i was even considering writing a smut scene in it. can you imagine? i didn't, of course, i'm not suited for this, but still. it's pointless, okay. another quicky, um meaning written in several hours, so at least i haven't wasted too much time for this.
Banging to the door.
What time is it? Fuck, after the midnight? Who could it be? And is it that much of problem to use a doorbell instead of waking up the whole neighbourhood?
Jinki throws the book on a cupboard, stands up from the bed he was laying on, and proceeds to the door. He looks through a peep-hole and totally doesn't like what he sees.
When he opens the door, Kibum literally flows into the apartment and - to be exact - onto him. Jinki steadies the limp body of his friend with much effort, grabbing him by the arms.
"God, are you..." he starts but doesn't need to state the obvious. Kibum shudders and belches, so Jinki doesn't waste time and just takes him to the bathroom to seat him in front of a toilet bowl. Kibum instantly starts to throw up, mostly water though - he remembers not to dehydrate, such a good boy - staining his shirt with his saliva. Jinki sits up on the laundry basket near to him and strokes Kibum's back as the younger man places his head on his arm, bended and leaned over the toilet.
Jinki has no idea why Kibum is here in the first place. Student dorms he lives in are located several kilometers from Jinki's apartment - it isn't that much of distance, but to bother him in the middle of the night? Did something really happen? Or was it just another drunken stupor that brought Kibum here?
Surely, there is no answer to his questions at the moment.
"Kibum? How are you feeling?" Jinki asks tentatively. He should take him to bed, but he also doesn't want to risk Kibum getting sick in the middle of his room. And he doesn't have any pail, okay.
"Bad," Kibum mumbles weakly. Too simply, Jinki thinks, so it must be true. Kibum is not simple even if deadly drunk, usually.
He waits next fifteen or twenty minutes to ask one more time if he would be able to move into the room. Kibum struggles to lift his head and nods, so Jinki helps him to stand up.
But it's not easy. Kibum can walk, of course. Too bad, that with every step in different direction. It's not a surprise that halfway down the corridor they both lose the balance, and Kibum pins Jinki to the wall, grabbing the front of his shirt and crushing him with his weight. What is a surprise, is Kibum's head in the crook of Jinki's shoulder and barely audible words he mutters.
"Jinki Jinki Jinki," Kibum starts and continues, seemingly unable to stop repeating Jinki's name over and over. Jinki grabs Kibum's wrists and shakes him to make him stop, but then Kibum changes the pattern.
"I can't bear it. I can't stand it. I'm all alone, so alone. Jinki Jinki Jinki Jinki, " he starts repeating like some mantra again and Jinki is seriously freaked out by that point. What's going on here.
"Hey, Kibum, calm down. Please."
"Jinki, I want you," Kibum breathes finally and loosens his grip on Jinki's shirt, the fact Jinki promptly uses to pull him towards the main room and onto the bed.
Kibum is not aware of what's going on anymore - if conscious at all, Jinki isn't sure - so Jinki undo the boy's buttoned shirt, takes it off and covers him with the blanket.
He looks for some spare mattress and makes himself a temporary bed in the other side of the room.
Listening to Kibum's uneven breathing, he wonders what exactly has just transpired.
- - -
Consciousness hits my mind only in the morning; I know it's morning cause the light vexes my stinging eyes through closed eyelids. My head is spinning around. Fuck. Not sober yet. What time could it be?
I have no willpower to open my eyes. They sting like hell, it's not a joke... but then - why does this cover feel so odd? I try to bend my legs but my muscles sore. It shouldn't be like that. Wait. I was running. I was running somewhere, I remember...
I was sitting there, in the kitchen, with all the people. I was longing for... I was thinking about... And then I was running. Oh my God.
Oh my God, please no. Please let me see the upper part of our damn junk bed in our damn room when I will open my eyes.
What I see instead is the whiteness of some too well known ceiling.
Great Kibum. Just great. You are banned from eating chocolate for the whole next month. Not even this bitter as hell, dark one you have in a drawer.
I sit up and notice two - no, three – things. Firstly, my arms and chest are bare, what the hell is that? But then, next is a fresh t-shirt placed neatly near the pillow - I put it on without much thinking. The third thing is Jinki's orange head visible above the counter separating the kitchenette from the main room.
I stand up and move in the direction I estimate the bathroom should be, as quietly as I can - but obviously I can not, at all, as my legs are not listening to me and I'm rather staggering with every step. Jinki notices my movements, unfortunately, but stays sitting beside the kitchen table.
"Where are you going?"
Oh. What is that question. "To bakery, gonna buy some fresh flowers for your mother."
"What? What are you talking about?"
"I need to pee, you idiot."
I sit on the toilet for like eternity, probably twenty minutes at least, and my head is spinning spinning spinning round. The hangover is yet to come, but now I'm just still intoxicated. I need to go home when I'm still able to.
- - -
Jinki doesn't let me.
He makes me some disgustingly greasy breakfast and force-feeds me cause I wouldn't take it to my mouth by myself, never. Then he pours half a litre of water into me and sends me back to bed. I'm protesting, of course. All the time. He doesn't let me out of the apartment - I'd need a key to open he door.
I'm trapped, I know it too well.
That's not the worst. He is looking at me in a way that terrifies me. I'm positive I haven't done anything strange when I got here. I've always controlled myself, even if drunk, even with him near. I've never said what I thought. But this strange stare he is giving me from time to time makes me doubt in myself.
What if I've actually done something I should regret?
What if I've told him what was really in my mind all the time?
No no no. I wouldn't have done that. No way I could.
- - -
Kibum falls asleep again and Jinki sits beside him on the bed. The younger man's face seems really worn out - with his current lifestyle that's nothing unexpected though. For last month Jinki has never managed to see him sober - or at least not tipsy. He fails to figure out the reason.
They were both part of a one group of friends, one of those that form spontaneously during university years. Because of the same major and several courses they both attended, despite a year difference between them, they started to study together before the exam session and it turned out that somehow, during that period, they were spending practically every evening together.
They became close. Closer than with other people from their group. For Jinki, closer than with anybody before – maybe he seriously had, has problems with socializing and trusting people. But before Jinki managed to think out what it meant, the exams ended and Kibum has begun this strange tactic to stay under the influence every time Jinki tried to make any contact with him. So, Jinki finally gave up.
But now Kibum is here and Jinki is not going to miss the opportunity. He will wait how long it takes for him to sober up and he will surely force him, somehow, to talk.
He brushes away strands of brown hair from Kibum's forehead and can't restrain himself from tracing the blond stubble on the side with his fingers. Kibum got this haircut several weeks ago. Jinki still thinks it looks kind of desperate, but he likes it anyway. Perversely.
"You don't remember, huh?" he mutters and switches to contemplating Kibum's slightly parted lips, still exhaling puffs of air with hint of alcoholic scent. Jinki is almost sure Kibum doesn't remember his outburst from the last night, he would be awkward if he did.
Jinki could ignore it. They both could live like it all never happened.
Well, Jinki hasn't decided yet. If he is going to let it slip away, or not.
- - -
This hangover is probably the mother hangover for all the hangovers all over the world. Or it's collected and combined from all the mornings in my life I should have had one but I didn't. Because I can't think of any other reasonable explanation why it's 5 pm and I feel like shit for several hours already.
Another painkiller and water. Much of water.
It's late in the evening when I awake and I don't feel the throbbing pain in my head anymore and my nausea is finally gone.
That brings new thoughts. What exactly Jinki wants from me? What should I be prepared for?
"Don't pretend. I see you're awaken. You are blinking though closed eyelids."
"Oh oh. You're so smart."
I finally open my eyes to see Jinki sitting cross-legged on the floor beside the bed, arms folded on the mattress and his head placed on them, turned in my direction. I should go home. Totally. Now.
"You are not going anywhere," did I say it out loud? I'm sure I didn't. "Well at least you are not going to the dorm, yet. But I can see you yearn for some fresh air, right? Cause I have nothing for a dinner."
"Do I look like I'm going somewhere?" I'm not letting him win this clash that easily.
"Come on," Jinki looks at me with squinted eyes and I feel unsure, again. "On the way you could think over if there's something you'd like to tell me, in the real world this time."
But Jinki is already standing up and proceeds to pack up his bag. So I stand up too, put my jeans on – um, when did I take them off? - and follow him hurriedly on the way out of the apartment, yelling at him to make him explain what the fuck he was talking about, but he only smiles mischievously in response.
Um. So. Have I actually done something stupid?
Anyway. On the way to the grocery and back to the apartment I'm seriously giving it a thought, and I conclude that the answer is unfortunately yes. My arguments? One, I recall feeling pathetically lonesome then, on that party, as I was struggling with certain unwelcome thoughts. And than (here comes the "two") I was running somewhere as if chased by herd of zombies. To where? To his place. What a coincidence.
Three. Why is he grabbing my waist instead of hanging his arm over my shoulders like always? Why the hell does he open the door for me as if I'm his lass or something? And why does this smirk on his face look so dangerous?
- - -
Kibum is visibly confused and reserved and Jinki is enjoying it to the maximum. But he also knows what this game is for.
It's late now, long after the dinner, and Kibum makes a small bundle of himself and the covers on Jinki's bed - why is he occupying it again without even asking, by the way? - and cuddles to the wall, like he'd like to melt into it. Jinki's bed is non-standard, it's too narrow to be called double and too wide to take it as a single one - it's rather the kind of bed with 'forever alone' written all over its frame - still there is enough space for Jinki to sit on it and straighten his legs, even with Kibum on.
He stares at Kibum expectantly. He is not going to let him sleep without settling this all.
Jinki notices Kibum eyeing him up and down and wants to smirk but restrains himself. He isn't in his undershirt and shorts only for any purpose, but it's still funny to see Kibum abashed again.
"If... if I really told you... this," Kibum frowns and blurts out the rest of the sentence, "what would you answer?" He covers half of his face with the blanket, but his eyes staring at Jinki above it are serious.
"I would answer: okay," Jinki states, looking him in the eye, "So now you can provide yourself with several cartons of chocolate, you know it."
"I'm not allowed. Kind of self punishment."
Jinki decides not to go into details. "So?"
"Uh... why are you such a sadist, Jinkiiiii," Kibum whines and makes undefined wavy movement with his arms - why are you such a retard Kibuuuuum - but Jinki stays silent and waits.
"Okay." Long silence. "So. I'll just say it." Kibum makes another pause and buries his face in the blanket again, but finally continues. "Being friends with you is just not enough."
"...and that's all? Should I say my 'okay' now?"
"Nnno? But, do you want to?"
"So... let's be something more?"
- - -
Ten seconds later I'm panicking and taking leave of my senses and Jinki is trying to find his pillow on the mattress in the other side of the room. When he's back, I'm still struggling to become one with the wall, apparently to no avail, cause he lays beside me and stretches his arm to stroke the shaved hair on the side of my head. Okay, so it kind of fascinates him. Good to know.
"Brave boy. But you know, you should have told me then, that month ago. Liquor is expensive."
I just roll my eyes in response. So easy, so easy. Then he brings his face closer to mine, and I'm panicking again, but he aims only to my ear.
"You know what you've told me yesterday?"
I shake my head and I'm convinced I don't want to know, but I don't manage to clarify this before Jinki mutters to my ear.
"I want you."
Oh my God. Fuck. No. It can't be true. I scream and start burying myself into the covers, blankets, pillows, mattresses and hopefully the floor too. My memory activates and I truly wish I could stop existing in that moment. I hear Jinki laughing somewhere far away, probably about half a meter from me.
Then I feel that he begins the struggle to find me in between all the material and finally, he miraculously does – and here we are, like two idiots, sitting in darkness under several layers of covers.
- - -
Even in the darkness, Jinki's hand easily finds Kibum's cheek and strokes it gently. The other one pulls him closer, so that Kibum sits on his lap and crosses his legs behind him; his arms meets on Jinki's neck.
Because of the darkness, of course, Jinki's lips are less fortunate. They trace Kibum's face, leaving small kisses on his jaw, cheekbone, forehead. On his nose, his chin, corner of his mouth, before they finally settles against pair of Kibum's soft ones, taking them into long, careful, steady kiss, that means everything they want it to mean.
Is this a fever that takes over their bodies?