Genre: who knows
Disclaimer: I had written this BEFORE I read (fabulous btw) "A Condition" by Stella. Like for real. When I was reading "A Condition" I was like wtf this girl must have haunted me when I had been writing my fic. Eh.
A/N: I wrote this long ago just for my own satisfation and fun (hail to tender sex, okay) and i was rather ashamed of it, but now i don't care somehow. And i actually like Jonghyun, but i needed him like this. Thanks to my forever first reader airushi who never fails to reassure me that onkey is real when i doubt. And ♥ to kellsung for checking it. But you know, you've read such a long (and) onkey, i'm sooo proud of you :D
Summary: Jinki keeps asking and Kibum keeps refusing in every possible way to make him stop.
"Will you sleep with me?"
What? Kibum fixes his gaze on a face of the man that has just blurted out this words as if they weren't as blunt and offensive as they, well, were.
"What did you say?" he asks cause there is this slight hope that he heard wrong. There still is.
"I'm just asking. Will you possibly sleep with me?"
Kibum freezes and he must admit that he doesn't know what's going on, seriously. Just somehow the world stops just like in some trashy movie scene and he sees in the corner of his eye as all the people around blur while passing them by – and there is the Jinki in front of him, so absurdly standing still and making no sense at all.
Is this some kind of stupid joke? He looks carefully at Jinki's face but he sees nothing, no smile, no smirk, like it is totally washed out of any feelings. Normally he would yell something like "what are you thinking about, you pervert". Or simply laugh him off. Well, react in any way. But there is something in Jinki's posture, in the way his arms are hanging numbly on his sides, in his impassive look that restrains him from any action.
And Kibum realizes he is definitely not able to cope with this right now and that something in his stomach is definitely going to make its way out and he will surely become sick, very sick any moment soon. So he just turns on his heel and goes ahead, as long as he's in a radiance of Jinki's sight, ignoring not so loud and not really convincing "Kibum, just, wait!" and quickly disappears in the nearest bathroom. He rests his arms heavily on the washstand and breaths with effort to calm himself down, though looking at the reflection in front of him doesn't help much, as his perfect features are now stained with dead embarrassment.
"This was strange. He was strange." Kibum mutters to his twin in the mirror and runs his fingers through the dark strands of his hair to look himself in the eye. "You were strange."
But, seriously, what's going on with this guy?
To be true, Kibum is afraid to see him again. He is afraid of an awkward atmosphere, tough there has never been such, ever since they became friends. He is afraid that there will be this, as they describe it, invisible barrier that will forever hover between them from now on. Simply that something will inevitably change.
However, he couldn't be more wrong. When they finally manage to meet, Jinki greets him like nothing that bad ever happened, with his familiar smile that melts Kibum's heart the moment he sees it. It's not like they are pretending that the question has not been asked, but they just don't talk about the matter. Kibum doesn't feel like he would like to discover what mental problem Jinki happened to have at that moment, and Jinki - Jinki is treating Kibum gently as always and everything seems to be normal. Almost.
About a week later they are both at some party, to be exact a birthday party of one of their mutual friends from a student dormitory. Since the beginning of their studies they have been living in one block of similar apartments (though "apartment" is rather too big a word for a room with a bathroom) - two floors and 60 stairs apart from each other. It has always been convenient and kept their friendship fortunately alive for the last two years or so. It's also the reason of them having many mutual friends and going to the parties together - nothing that unusual.
So Kibum is standing with his drink in the kitchen, talking about something irrelevant to his ex boyfriend, Jonghyun, maybe just to prove himself that he is totally over it, after this whole year apart. Well, okay, he is rather trying to have some conversation, cause he seems to be the only one engaged. On the other hand, Jonghyun looks like he's fantasizing about some more or less improper acts and just by looking him in the eye one could probably see the whole scenario to a blue movie, including pushing Kibum onto the kitchen table, ravaging his mouth while tearing off his shirt and... well, at this point Jonghyun is distracted by some laughter from the main room, so he just excuses himself in the middle of Kibum's sentence and leaves. But then, Kibum is not even irritated. Like he would mind, really.
He looks around and notices that one more person was also present in the room all the time. Jinki is still there making some drink and when his gaze meets Kibum's, he sends him a warm smile as if he's been completely unaware of the previous scene. Kibum smiles a little also cause like always it is completely unconditional for him - but then Jinki leans closer and it happens. Spacetime curves and it happens again.
"Will you sleep with me? Kibummie?" Jinki's tone is as light-hearted as his face expression. Oh, he is going for a 'cool' image this time? But then, Kibum's reason is poisoned with alcohol and he cannot bring himself to care anymore.
"You won't tell me why you are freaking me out like this, will you?"
Jinki shrugs and tilts his head to the side.
"Just because. I felt like asking one more time."
Kibum laughs as this whole situation is so plain stupid. Simply unimaginable. And funny for some unknown reasons.
"Jinki, wake up. No way I could. I've never thought about you... this way."
Jinki smiles again and it's a genuine smile, with no sign of resignation or disappointment which Kibum would possibly expect.
"I know, right?" So why the fuck are you asking. Key wants to say but Jinki pats his shoulder lightly and points to the main room with his head. "We'd better integrate with them a little, don't you think?"
Well, at that point Kibum is not really thinking about anything - but follows anyway.
It all started two year ago at party they both attended. Kibum was in then-year-lasting relationship with his boyfriend and they were usually inseparable, but that time he came by himself as Jonghyun had some problems with health and generally was rather too annoying a companion to take him out anywhere. On the other hand Jinki came with his temporary girlfriend who simply enjoyed gossiping with her friends more than spending time with him. This way both of them ended sitting at the kitchen table and staring mindlessly at the wall - which somehow made Kibum laugh when he realised it.
"Two stupid abandoned jerks we are, aren't we?"
Jinki frowned jokingly and sighed with emphasis. The conversation was not continued by any of them but this kind of silence became natural just from this first meeting.
As Jinki had to go back home earlier because of studying, he offered Kibum a ride, cause he knew the latter wanted to visit his boyfriend before going to the dorm (as if he could even plan to go back there after going to Jonghyun's, but that was another story). Jinki's girlfriend decided to stay longer so he kissed her goodbye and they left.
During the ride they shared just a few words and as Kibum was about to get out from the car in front of his boyfriend's house, he took his phone out of his bag and waved it near Jinki's nose.
"Well, let's meet and talk some day. Seems we were really drained today, right?"
Jinki nodded and told him his number.
"LEE Jinki, right? I'm Kim Kibum, you probably know. Key in short."
"Yeah, I know, though we haven't really talked before..." Jinki chuckled, "um, well, today we didn't talk either if I recall properly."
Kibum just shrugged his shoulders. "Oh, whatever, we can as well meet and do not talk if you do prefer. But now I'm going, Jonghyun must be crying his eyes out that he's been left alone for so long. And jerking himself off for the twelfth time already."
Jinki didn't comment and Key finally got out of the car.
"Goodnight, Jinki!" he waved his hand briefly before closing the door behind him with a loud slam.
"See you, Key."
For the whole year after this first proper meeting their friendship was evolving. They found mutual interests or developed some - such as photography, that was Kibum's fascination and subject Jinki was always keen on, or music in which they shared similar taste. They found themselves meeting regularly one or two times a week, sometimes just to listen to some new CD on Jinki's stereo or to develop Kibum's photos together in a darkroom made provisionally from his apartment's bathroom.
Kibum was sometimes grumbling about Jonghyun being jealous but it was nothing really serious, as his and Jinki's relationship couldn't be more pure and both of them knew that they were just not interested in each other. Jinki was still halfheartedly trying with new girls and Kibum was still completely sucked in by his relationship.
And the truth is that nothing really changed when Kibum finally decided to break up with his boyfriend after two years of a relationship. Two years of a ravaging and devastating relationship as he was saying then, but Jinki knew that there were times that it wasn't this way, that Kibum was really enjoying what he had had. But it didn't matter. Jinki was there to hug him and say that what he did was right and that he would surely find his happiness with somebody else - empty words Key needed, even though both of them knew how meaningless they were.
Kibum was quite depressed for several weeks after the break up and Jinki felt somehow obliged to look after him more. So he was trying to arrange at least a brief meeting every day – sometimes he was just dropping in to see what the other boy was doing and Kibum was visibly grateful for that. During this period, Key was also longing for any form of affection and was quite helpless in his attempts to hide it, but as many other things it was just natural for Jinki to give in to Kibum's need in this matter - so light touches, stroking hair or other such gestures became something common between them. It stayed this way even when Kibum finally recovered his balance and everything seemed to get back to normal again.
It was a month or so later that Kibum started a new crush, very passionate, rough and short-lived. Jinki was really worried as Kibum broke off their contact - but it lasted just a week or two, as he returned with a great sense of guilt and sincere promise not to do this again. This meant well, “leaving Jinki behind” of course, cause it was just a first one of numerous affairs that came next.
Although being greatly concerned about Kibum's sleeping around for most of the time, Jinki somehow managed to find some considerate girlfriend, finally. She was pretty in her own cute way, not like a movie star or other celebrity, not stylish and fashionable, but her intelligence and common sense somehow enchanted Jinki. He had to admit he felt something more while being with her than with any other girl before. He felt like he was getting involved and yeah, objectively speaking he was probably in love for the first time. Yet it didn't change his way with Kibum as they were still meeting regularly and generally speaking by that moment Jinki was already considering Kibum as a part of his family – well, the better part, looking at his relations with parents and adolescent siblings.
When the girl, let's call her Park-girl as Kibum had used to, learned about her boyfriend's best friend, she unexpectedly showed her unknown jealous side. It started with small questions about Jinki's "best-gay-friend" and it slightly irritated Jinki but he was trying on and on to make it clear to her how the things were and that she was just overreacting. But during the following weeks that turned into months her jealousy (which in fact was directed mostly at Kibum) developed, especially when she became aware of the intimacy they were sharing. Jinki felt tired and the whole situation was bringing nothing but discredit to him - he had never imagined himself being in a relationship that was not built on trust and respect. He grew to hate being suspected of things he had never done and he hadn't ever thought of doing in the first place.
So when finally Park-girl gave him an ultimatum - her or Kibum, Jinki simply walked away without giving it a second thought. Of course from her point of view it just confirmed all the suspicions she had but Jinki (as well as Kibum, as he felt involved - quite against his will really) couldn't care less.
This way without them noticing passed nearly two years of knowing each other.
Well, there was also that night together, Kibum recalls now. It was several days before Jinki started his freaking out - because after those two times Jinki fell into a habit to ask him that question now and then, sometimes in most ridiculous and improper moments really.
Still “that night together” means nothing that could be imagined. They just spent an evening in Jinki's room sitting on the floor with their backs lent against the couch, enjoying pleasing sounds of some new music Kibum had just discovered, both of them sunk in thoughts for the most of the time. Only after drinking several cups of some liquor Kibum felt like talking so he started; and after a while their conversation somehow switched to their various relationships and experiences and Kibum even now still doesn't know how it came to this, as they usually weren't talking about such things so seriously and in detail.
"Let me tell you now, this Park-girl was really horrible one, you know?" Kibum said casually as he recalled all the problems she was instantly causing. After all he never really understood what attracted Jinki to her.
Jinki pouted and took a sip from the glass he was holding.
"No, she wasn't. I.. she was really a fine girl as long as... she didn't, you know."
"She really has a problem. Somehow I even feel sorry for her." And Kibum really felt because this girl would probably have more problems like this in future and she was sick in her own way. "But right, there was time I thought you were into it for good."
Jinki shrugged his shoulders.
"There was time it seemed like we did suit each other. Well, as you see, we didn't. But you know, she was the only girl that didn't want to manipulate me. That was not offended by the lack of sex on the third date. That would never tell you something like – well, if you go shopping with me, we will meet in the evening in my room. Or something."
"Huh, so you are into this kind of girls? Not those hot chicks that jump into your bed without even asking?" Kibum smirked, but then realized he never really asked why Jinki's relationships were usually over soon after they started.
"Well every night I find some in my bed, God, it's really annoying when I have to throw them out of my room."
Kibum just smiled absent-mindedly, but his thoughts were somewhere else. So there existed sides of Jinki's personality he wasn't consciously aware of, even if now hearing such words was just completing Key's vision of him.
"I've never asked you really..." Jinki started awkwardly and cleared his throat "but now there is this kind of atmosphere, so - why did you broke with Jonghyun? Like, seriously."
Kibum arched his eyebrow.
"I thought you knew this from the very start. Wasn't it obvious just by looking at him?" and me, Kibum added in his mind.
"Um, I think I know it somehow, but you've never talked about it, so -"
And Kibum must have been in some strange condition, in some extremely strange condition rather, because he wanted to talk about it, to get rid of those memories, to share them with Jinki and to forget it finally so that maybe he wouldn't have all those disgusting wet dreams with Jonghyun taking him in public places or doing things he would rather never knew that could be done.
So he started to talk about how Jonghyun kept molesting him in bathroom stalls and how he enjoyed it at first cause well, to be honest, it was so fucking exciting. How with passing time hurting ass became his everyday horror and trying to ask his ex-boyfriend to be less rough never worked. How he sometimes, just sometimes, wanted some pure affection, some making out without this overflowing passion, some kiss with no sexual tension but with Jonghyun a skin contact always ended with his cock between Key's legs. How his ex was never really concerned if Kibum did or did not have time or work the next day or if he was just tired after long day or if maybe he simply didn't have inner desire to be worked over.
Jinki was listening, nodding and uhm'ing from time to time. Just like this was the way he was imagining things.
"But you liked it. Surely you did, when we first met."
Of course, Kibum knew he was right.
"Maybe I did, maybe I did not. Now it doesn't matter, right?"
Jinki didn't answer for a while. Then he smirked and fixed his gaze on Kibum.
"You were nuts about him, don't pretend you weren't".
Kibum rolled his eyes.
"It was not enough, maybe, for me." Jinki nodded and taped Kibum's shoulder lightly "But now..."
"Hm?" Jinki asked after a while of silence. Kibum looked like he was considering if he would really like to talk or not.
"Now all the guys, and girls too, to be exact, all of them... those I had something going on with, you know - just remind me of him and I know that I want it and hate it at the same time, but well, I'd rather forget everything if I had a choice. This... it makes me feel so empty, I don't even know."
"Well, I'm trying hard to imagine."
"I will end up jerking off for the rest of my life."
"Me too. Such a perspective."
"Cut the crap, you are kind of normal, still, except having a friend like me."
"Yeah, well, you're right." Jinki said with a pout. Kibum chuckled and poked him with his elbow.
"It wasn't an answer I was expecting."
They stayed in comfortable silence for some time, listening to music as the CD was replaying nth time already, but both of them still liked it and it suited their moods - soft, calm and soothing sounds that absorbs you if you give them a chance. Their minds, greatly affected by the alcohol, were running around and spiralling downwards with the rhythm of the music.
"Oh, and I have some secret to confide."
Jinki looked at Kibum with curiosity, head tilted to the side.
"You know, I'm a sucker for your smile"
Jinki chuckled and grinned brightly so that his eyes became moonshaped lines.
"Yes, this one exactly" Kibum added and smiled also cause it was so freaking infectious.
Jinki was in thought for a moment. "So, I'm a sucker for the way you move."
Kibum frowned. "Way I move?"
"When you are walking or just waving a hand or doing something, I don't know. Always with a kind of flow. Nobody told you before?"
"Not really." Not that anybody had ever a chance and/or desire to do so.
"So you know now. You can use it." Kibum poked out a tongue at him and sighed.
"Let's just use it to make us go to sleep. It's 3 am already. And I suppose it will take me a long time to sober up, really."
It wasn't planed or something, but they both just laid on Jinki's quite wide bed, wrapped themselves up with comforter and instantly fell asleep, Jinki facing the wall and Kibum on the other side, with his knees sticking out of the bed frame.
Early in the morning Kibum woke up half sober (maybe quarter sober to be honest) and decided to go to his apartment finally, in need of a shower, pyjamas and proper sleep for the rest of the day. Jinki failed to open his eyes so he just murmured some "see you" and Kibum smiled at him and quietly left.
There was nothing that unusual about this meeting. Not that Jinki would go crazy like he went. Because it has to be craziness, what else?
So Jinki keeps asking and Kibum keeps refusing in every possible way to make him stop. It's not like it happens every time they meet though. Just sometimes. If Kibum tries to ask for some explanation or to suppose Jinki is out of his senses, the only response he gets is simply a smile and a shrug of shoulders like it's nothing.
But obviously for Kibum it is not such "nothing". Okay, he was surprised at the beginning and he was just trying to take it as a joke or to find any way to rationalize it. But, well, he must admit that now after a while something is going in somewhat improper direction.
The first time his thoughts wander like this, he manages to mentally slap himself and stop them the moment imaginary Jinki's mouth is leaning closer and closer to his own. But when it happens out of the blue for the second time when Jinki is not even around, he starts to feel awkward. It definitely shouldn't have happened, thoughts like this haven't appeared in his mind for the whole two years, why do they dare to come to him now?
Kibum has always been aware of Jinki's appeal, it was only natural - Jinki was a handsome guy and a cute child at the same time, with his clumsy self and strange jokes and Kibum has never had a problem with this fact. He can openly admit he likes looking at Jinki's features and that he is addicted to his smile, but that's all. Or maybe that was all, until Jinki started his strange game.
So step by step his imagination is going further and Kibum wants to stop it but he can't. Up until now there was always someone he was interested in in a simply sensual way, all those short affairs and one night stands and it was just impossible for him to comprehend how he could use his best friend in his fantasies. But now... that friend was like - asking for this himself?
The apogee comes as Kibum is deleting some old messages from his cell phone and finds the one Jinki send him two days ago in some madly crowded bus they were on together. "Cramped, right? And huh - will u sleep with me? ^^' " and this is just to much to handle. Kibum is mad. It's so childish, so stupid and he is really, truly mad. He throws the phone on the table and himself on the bed and closes his eyes to calm himself down, but then he sees Jinki's eyes and lips just in front of him and this time he is so angry that he has no will to struggle and stop his imagination, so he consciously proceeds and starts to analyse how it would be with Jinki and his personality, not only with his body as such - the body he has seen so many times before, but never in such unambiguous circumstances. He can feel his pants being too tight for his growing bulge and it feels so wrong doing this to Jinki; but it is his fault all in all, so Kibum tries to restrain a growing feeling of impropriety which well, to be honest, makes him even more excited.
Only after he is done the guilt starts to creep slowly into his mind and he feels so at fault that he cannot just simply wave it aside.
Then next day he meets Jinki at the university and this guy, he just has to ask his stupid question again as they are eating lunch sitting on a bench outside the building. All the emotions are now in whirl in Kibum's brain and he is not really thinking at all when he starts to cry, to sob, to hit Jinki's chest with his fists and ask him with broken voice to stop it all in between.
Jinki is all confused as he grabs Kibum's wrists and is trying to calm him down and Kibum finally gives in so he embraces the shaking body and lightly strokes his back.
"Hey, what is this reaction?" In Jinki's tone there is just pure astonishment. "Kibum, say something."
"Just stop it already," Kibum asks weakly, disentangling himself from Jinki's arms, embarrassed to death and this time angry at himself for behaving so stupidly out of senses.
But Jinki just pats Kibum's arm. "I will try to stop. But I can't promise anything."
Kibum looks at him dumbfounded and he is truly unable to comprehend this guy. "What?"
"Hey, Kibummie, better make yourself up, the break is about to end," He strokes Kibum's hair and Kibum has nothing more to say cause it is just too much for him. Definitely too much.
By his little outburst Kibum gains almost two weeks of calm. Although his fantasies haven't left him, he no longer feels guilty, he only changes his way of perceiving Jinki a little - but of course not that much to make any move or something significant. He is just enjoying the light touches and other gestures they share a little bit more - is there really something wrong with this? Jinki is hopefully oblivious and it's the way he should be - forever. Kibum's hopes of being emotionally stable for the rest of his life are now reasonably high.
So Kibum is not suspecting anything when Jinki asks him to come to his place on a Saturday evening, just 'to celebrate'. Asked what is a point of the celebration Jinki doesn't answer, just smiles and says that Key will see. Of course, Kibum agrees, as he was planning to visit Jinki anyway, even without invitation.
And after a while Kibum is knocking to Jinki's door with plastic box full of some fête salad in his hand. He hears Jinki's voice calling something similar to 'come in' so he pulls at the knob to open the door and sneaks inside. The light in the main room is dimmed and something is so wrong, so terribly wrong that he has a thought of running away immediately but nevertheless he stays and finds himself saying something like "I'm in, where are you, Jinki?" while pulling off his shoes.
But then when he is about to enter the main room he realizes what he is getting into and he instantly knows what's going on, though he refuses to admit it. The room turns out to be lightened just by the side lamps that provides it with nice, warm glow. Everything is not normal, the atmosphere is strange and so are two glasses and bottle of red wine neatly arranged on the tea table in front of the coach. Kibum's ears catches calming tones of some instrumental post-rock music but with electronic vibe that Kibum is sure Jinki knows he likes. Kibum feels his blood starts circulating faster and faster and he is really afraid of what is going to happen, what the hell Jinki's intentions are.
He leans against the door frame and unconditionally slide down slowly until he is sitting on the floor between the room and the anteroom with a face hidden in his hands cause he is about to lose control any moment soon. Then he feels the warmth of the other man's body as Jinki is squatting down beside him, murmuring some hey-what's-going-on and shaking his arm slightly. Kibum knows that he has to brace himself up so he sighs, "Give me a minute," to Jinki and move himself as fast as possible to a nearly located bathroom. He hears Jinki's concerned voice asking if everything is okay and though it obviously isn't, he shouts back his "Just give me a minute" one more time with the most usual voice he is able to produce.
He knows what Jinki is up to and he doesn't know at the same time. Either everything can be ruined or maybe there is nothing to worry about. Too much, Kibum whispers to the mirror for the hundredth time but there is no other way than go out, improvise, and try to think of a way to save somehow both himself and Jinki.
So he goes out to the main room and sees Jinki as he is just placing a glass bowl with the salad on the table. When Jinki finally straightens up and turns to Kibum, he embraces him with his sight and for Kibum there is no longer a place for doubt, really. The boy is wearing a black, buttoned and well shaped shirt, short sleeves of it showing his nicely build arms, with some casual grey skinnies. But even though Key must admit that he looks far too well for such a simple outfit, still everything finally comes to his face, with his bangs all over it the way Kibum loves and eyes rimmed with eyeliner – somehow he must have known how much of a turn on it is for Kibum – and this all makes him look hot, so hot that Kibum is no longer objective, he just cannot think straight cause it's the first time he finds this guy so alluring and the fact that he shouldn't even think this way again stirs him up even more. He also notices something strange about the Jinki he is looking at now, something he has never seemed to notice before - something, well, girlish about his features, about the shape of his thighs and his round ass. This is just crazy.
"Are you seducing me?" Kibum asks and even though he wants this question to sound like a joke, he unwillingly really means it.
"I thought it's quite obvious." Jinki replies with a small smile, so different from his usual grin.
Kibum settles himself on the couch and he doesn't have any idea of what to do. What to say to end this madness quickly and harmlessly enough.
"Just let me ask, what the hell has gotten into you?" But Jinki only shrugs his shoulders as always. "Fuck, Jinki, just say something finally, what do you want from me?"
But there's still no answer.
"Well, okay, I know, we can do everything you want, it's not such a problem for me..." Kibum continues as Jinki sits on the opposite side of the sofa silently. "But have you even give it a thought where it will take us? What will we become? We've always had some, um, sensible relationship but now you just insist on creating some freaking nightmare out of it."
Finally Jinki speaks, his voice hopelessly sincere. "It has gone too far already to take a step back. And you know it just as well as I do."
"You're trying to kill everything that was between us."
"And I want you to be an accomplice."
They stare at each other for a long time and it's Key who finally give in and leans to pour the wine from the bottle to glasses, who shortens the distance between them as he gives one of them to Jinki and who raise it up with a half smile. Jinki follows and they both drink up, too fast and with such desperation as if their lives depended on how much alcohol will soothe them down. Jinki instantly fills the second round.
"Well it wasn't a lie. It's really some kind of celebration." He puts his glass away on the table and shifts closer to Kibum who doesn't evade though fixes his gaze at his bent leg laid loosely on the seat. So Jinki cups his chin and raise Kibum's head so that they are looking at each other and Kibum can't help but to remember numerous times Jonghyun made the same gesture, how possessive it was and how submissive he was feeling. Yet he also realizes that now it's so different and that he could take an initiative if he wanted. But then, he doesn't want to.
"This is when I'm going to end this. The final round." His gaze is so intensive and his eyes are glowing oddly. "So will you sleep with me, Kibum? Tonight. Now."
But Key is not really going to answer. Anyway, it is way to late for him to use his common sense properly. He just pushes Jinki's arm aside, lays his hand on the back of Jinki's head and pulls him closer, closer so that their lips finally meet and he embraces Jinki's lower lip with his own lips, sucking it and licking with his tongue. He feels Jinki's leg on his knee as he sits in mirrored position and then warm hands embracing his waist. Jinki is now pushing his tongue into his mouth and just after it meets with Kibum's, he pulls back, making Kibum huff a little.
After a while of Jinki's teasing and Kibum's accidental but unsuccessful attempts to make the kiss much more rough they pull away and look at each other - Kibum provocatively, Jinki with some kind of satisfaction. But then his hand reaches Kibum's hair and tenderly brush them aside from his face and Kibum somehow feels like crying.
"Kibummie, let's do it my way this time, okay?" Jinki smiles at him and pecks his lips while caressing his face with his fingers.
As Kibum pouts and mumbles something, Jinki takes his hand and stands up with a silent "Come," and Kibum follows. As he expected they are heading to separated by a high bookshelf part of the room which is considered to be a sleeping space. Halfway though Jinki stops, turns to him and wraps his arms tightly around the other boy's waist so that distracted Kibum automatically put his hands around Jinki's neck, though he is well, about a half of centimetre higher and maybe it should be the other way round. They hug for a while and Kibum rather doesn't see the point, but then Jinki starts to whisper something to his ear so he tries to focus.
"You know, I really want to give this to you."
Kibum rises his brows. "Give what, your virginity?" he asks ironically and earns some pat on his back cause they are both quite aware of their experiences in this matter.
"Let's see if you will notice." Then he initiates their second kiss and this time Kibum is really trying to make it Jinki's way - it's more like long teasing but always ended with giving - and he finds this small game rather exciting. Jinki obviously appreciates this, smiling to him with squinted eyes and Kibum knows that he is doing the same, as always disarmed by the smallest shadow of his smile.
They approach the bed and sit on it facing each other. Key doesn't really know if Jinki expects something from him but anyway he starts to unbutton his shirt slowly and it's just a little bit, but still, awkward. It feels more like a first time, though definitely not like his real first times – with some girl in an empty classroom the day he sneaked with her to the school at night, or his first time with a guy in a bathroom in Jonghyun's house, his parents nagging from behind the closed door what is taking them so long. But now neither is he being controlled nor is he controlling the situation and yes, it is unexpectedly new to him.
He ends with the shirt and slides it down, his fingers touching lightly Jinki's arms and he continues with caressing his bare chest with fingertips and nails but then he feels the latter's hands on his waist again, pulling up his t-shirt, so he helps him by lifting his hands up. Jinki starts to fasten Kibum's belt a moment later and this encourage Kibum to take care of Jinki's jeans also, so soon their pants and underwear are in one big mess on the floor and they are laying on the bed embracing each other, their legs entangled and their arousals brushing with every move.
And Kibum finds out that the game hasn't ended – on the contrary it continues on the next level. It's still teasing that makes him moan and whisper Jinki's name to his ear but when he feels like he cannot take it anymore he is always rewarded. Soon he sinks in Jinki's mouth, Jinki's arms, Jinki's chest and Jinki's thighs that clench his pelvis and gasps to do it now so Jinki starts unhurriedly preparing him with his fingers, his another hand cupping Kibum's face and kissing him slowly and precisely. The same time Kibum's fingers are trailing down the latter's spine down to his ass and back to his neck and he sees Jinki shudder with thrills of pleasure. After the third finger, Jinki proceeds with his cock and it takes so long cause Jinki is really, really careful, too much really for Kibum's standard, but he doesn't say anything and just waits, shoving Jinki's hair away from his face and stroking his jaw and puffy cheeks. When Jinki manages to place his whole length in, he waits a while and Kibum feels so endlessly full of him that he don't know if he could stand it any longer, but then Jinki starts to move slowly and Kibum whimpers and clings to his chest cause the feeling is so overwhelming, much more than usual and he doesn't know if it's just Jinki's size or something else, something that changed in his mind - but it really doesn't matter now when Jinki is thrusting and panting his name and it feels so great and so fucking right.
They come nearly the same time, Kibum biting his lower lip and Jinki muttering "Kibummie" to his ear for the umpteenth time this evening. When they separate, they lay for several minutes on their backs but Jinki decides to change the position and he lays his head on Kibum's shoulder, arm across his chest, leaving small kisses on his neck and Kibum chuckles as he feels nothing more than tickling now.
"Jinki, I think I've noticed this something." Said boy just mumbles something unspecified in response. "My ass surely won't hurt tomorrow," and then he squeals and almost falls from the bed as Jinki is trying to throw him off wholeheartedly.
If someone would walk into the room half an hour later he would see two young men sitting side by side on a floor in front of a tea table, eating away some salad straight from the bowl, quarrelling who will get an olive this time. Their hair are still wet from showering and they're both wearing similar pairs of (Jinki's) sweatpants and (Jinki's) t-shirts and except this detail it's all like normal Saturday for them - as if they have just watched some good comedy or played on xbox for 3 hours in row. Kibum is bitching as always and Jinki is all smiley and it's the Jinki Kibum knows the best, not the hot guy he has just discovered.
But both of them know that it isn't the way it looks like, that they have to seriously talk it over and so on – but still, seeing that it's really possible for their normal interactions not to be affected, it gives Kibum (and Jinki probably also) a faint hope that with or without benefits they will still stay as friends.
"Don't you think we are becoming something more now?" Jinki asks as if he was just listening to Kibum's thoughts. Maybe he was, well, why not.
"The proper question is what the fuck is it."
"Dunno." Jinki shrugs and manages to steal an olive almost from Kibum's spoon.
"Great." Kibum pouts and instantly feels warm breath as somebody bites lightly his shoulder. Really great he thinks ironically and starts hunting for fête.
Jinki never really told Kibum that there was no plan whatsoever. The first time he asked, it was just his mere thought he accidentally articulated and then he just went with the flow. It wasn't like he was secretly in love with Kibum for those two years, and it wasn't like he was planning to spend the rest of his life with him also. But he decided to risk and all the time he was trying hard not to think about consequences because he was deadly terrified that it all could go wrong and they will lose everything in this strange game.
Even now he doesn't really know if he – well, they succeeded. If they won't just end up hurting each other when there is nobody for any of them anymore and if they won't meet solitude much worse than ever before. But he gave them also a small chance and maybe there is a way to use it. They will see.